Sophisticated Relationships

I hope you are all having a fantastic summer.  A friend just forwarded this free event (see below) next Friday at UCLA. There will be a number of good speakers and very forward-thinking attendees there, so if you can make it, please do (I will be out of town unfortunately).  If you go, I would love to read your comments about your experience at the conference and how what the speakers talked about will impact your life.

On Friday June 27th at UCLA, the Methuselah Foundation is hosting Aging: The Disease, The Cure, The Implications, a panel discussion featuring leading scientists and advocates of stem cell and regenerative medicine research, including Dr. Aubrey de Grey, the Foundation’s Chairman and Chief Science Officer. 

Panelists will discuss the scientific progress and implications of eliminating age-related disease and disability, as well as public policy as it pertains to relevant scientific research legislation, including the passing of Prop 71 that led to establishing the California Institute of Regenerative Medicine and allocating $3 billion over 10 years to fund stem cell research.

Aging 2008 is free, with advance registration required at http://www.mfoundation.org/Aging2008/.

Dr. Aubrey de Grey, chairman and chief science officer of the Methuselah Foundation, said “Our organization has raised over $10 million to crack open the logjams in longevity science. With the two-armed strategy of direct investments into key research projects, and a competitive prize to spur on scientists racing to break rejuvenation and longevity records in lab mice, the Foundation is actively accelerating the drive toward a future free of age-related degeneration.” The Methuselah Foundation has been covered by 60 Minutes, Popular Science, The Wall Street Journal, and other top-flight media outlets.

The speakers at Aging 2008 will argue that the near-term consequences of intense research into regenerative medicine could be the development of therapies that extend healthy human life by decades, even if the therapies are applied in middle age.  Peter Thiel, president of Clarium Capital, initial investor in Facebook, and lead sponsor of Aging 2008, said, “The time has come to challenge the inevitability of aging. This forum will provide an excellent opportunity to look at the scientific barriers that must be over-come to substantially extend healthy human life, as well as the ethical implications of doing so.”

Admission to Aging 2008 is free, with advance registration required at www.mfoundation.org/aging2008.

WHEN:   
Friday, June 27, 2008 
Complimentary Reception – 4:00pm
Panel Discussion  – 5:00pm
Dinner w/ Speakers – 8:00pm  

WHERE:  
Royce Hall, 340 Royce Dr., UCLA, Los Angeles, CA

WHO:  
Presented by the Methuselah Foundation, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization dedicated to extending the healthy human lifespan. Founded in 2002 by entrepreneur David Gobel and biogerontologist Dr. Aubrey de Grey, the Methuselah Foundation funds two major programs: the Mprize, a multimillion dollar research prize, and SENS, a detailed engineering plan to repair aging-related damage.  For more information, visit www.mfoundation.org.  

SPEAKERS:
 * Dr. Aubrey de Grey – Chairman and Chief Science Officer, Methuselah Foundation
 * Dr. Bruce Ames – Professor of Biochemistry, UC Berkeley
 * Dr. William Haseltine – Chairman, Haseltine Global Health
 * Daniel Perry – Executive Director, Alliance for Aging Research
 * Bernard Siegel – Executive Director, Genetics Policy Institute
 * Dr. Gregory Stock – Director, UCLA Program on Medicine, Technology and Society
 * Dr. Michael West – Founder, Geron and Advanced Cell Technology 

See Dr. de Grey’s speech at the TED conference.

See a lecture from Dr. Ames and the Stein Institute.

See Dr. Haseltine in a guest appearance on Charlie Rose, minute starting at 35.24

Tags: Lexi, TED, announcement by Lexi
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Sometimes the shortest route to self-improvement isn’t to change anything about yourself but rather just to become more informed.

~Simon Funk

Saturday I had lunch with my friend Patrick in San Louis Obispo on lovely sunny day surrounded by the rhythm of a college town. We were exchanging fun banter mixed with more serious aspirations. I mentioned Sophisticated Relationships as a place that I write and he asked what it was about.

I told him originally it was meant to have a “Sex in the City” vibe and that it has taken a turn for more personal development. Both Lighthouse and I believe that in order to be in a sophisticated relationship with an engaging, secure and wonderful person, you have to be that yourself. This is why SR has taken a deeper look at things like self acceptance, not being attached to outcome, story telling and self care. This works for us, and it may work for you, if not try something else.

Everything you do or say, or don’t do and don’t say is communication. How you move, how you dress, how you speak, how you treat yourself, how you treat others, and more, is all communication to everyone else about who you are. There are many ways to communicate and interpret this kind of information.

What you believe about yourself and the world influences how you perceive and interact with the world.

 

If you believe you live in a hostile unfriendly world, your mind is going to be more likely to pick up on the cues that match your perception, a confirmation bias. It doesn’t mean you won’t make friends, but you may make fewer.

If you believe that most people are basically friendly and honest, that too is going to influence how you perceive the world. It doesn’t mean that you won’t come across dishonest unkind people—but they will seem like an anomaly, and you may have many more friends than someone with a more negative view of the world.

Like most beliefs about the world, these examples demonstrate how your behavior might be influenced in the world. And how you behave may generate further confirmation bias. If you believe the world is unfriendly, you may behave in an unfriendly or hostile way, thus not giving anyone a reason to be friendly to you— thus confirming that your belief in an unfriendly world is true.

If you believe the world is generally a kind place, you are more likely to notice the small kindnesses in every day passing, this may influence you to be kinder and you may find that others are further kinder to you, because people like to do things for others who treat them well—thus confirming that the world really is a kind place.

Additional influences on behavior will be what you believe about yourself. If you are more self-rejecting than self accepting, your self view will influence how you behave with others. It will influence how you dress yourself, how you carry yourself, how you speak to and approach other people. Depending on your interpretations and the level of importance you place on how others react to you, it can reinforce your negative self image keeping you stuck in a negative feedback loop.

Up until 2003, I used to worry a lot about whether or not people liked me. When I was in a state where I was worried, this influenced my behavior in ways that brought out unlikable behaviors. This worry felt like someone strapped a bomb to my chest and told me to act like Jack Nicholson. Naturally my behavior changed, and it wasn’t that I wasn’t being myself—I was, but I was being myself with a bomb strapped to my chest trying to act like Jack Nicholson.

The bomb made it seem like a good reason to act like Mr. Nicholson. Take the bomb away and I’m being myself frantically acting like Jack Nicholson, that was what I conveyed to others. They didn’t see the bomb, they just saw the resulting behavior. Trying to act like Jack was not how I preferred to interact, and probably was not the best way for me to connect with others. I can only imagine what I might be conveying to others about myself.

That worry is an imaginary bomb.

Take the worry bomb away, notice it is no longer there, my internal view has changed and viola, I can stop frantically acting like Jack. The bomb represents misinformation, and without that worry bomb strapped to my chest, what I end up conveying about myself is different because my beliefs and perceptions changed. By understanding that rejection is information, and not something to worry about, I can make a more informed decision about my behavior.

Which brings me back to my original point, what is Sophisticated Relationships about? Creating authentic connections. And to do that, it helps to be in touch with your self. In addition to communication, many of our articles are devoted to the relationship with oneself, by improving that, becoming more informed, we are more equipped to interact fruitfully in the world, become and attract people who are engaging, secure and wonderful.

Have a great weekend!

Lexi

Tags: Lexi, authentic, character, communication, insight, relationship with self by Lexi
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“When the breath wanders the mind also is unsteady. But when the breath is calmed the mind too will be still…” – Svatmarama, Hatha Yoga Pradipika

Recently, some friends asked me to teach a weekly yoga class. Of course I jumped at the opportunity. Teaching yoga is a great way to spend time with friends (it’s wondrously introspection inducing) and I knew that teaching would greatly improve my own yoga practice (which, after only 2 weeks, it has!). One of the most important aspects of yoga is pranayama: the conscious regulation of the breath.

We are in a hurry so much of the time, always trying to get to the next place or working on crossing things off of our lists. In addition, our need for physical activity is reduced because of modern technology and automation. Our breathing patterns mimic our life patterns and we can develop unhealthy breathing habits without being aware of it.

When we’re stressed, our breath tends to be fast and shallow. In response to various tensions, we hunch our bodies, slouch, or curl into balls, and over time, our breathing becomes habitually restricted. Breathing consciously can help open our chests, improving our posture and our stress levels.

“Several researchers have reported that pranayama techniques are beneficial in treating a range of stress related disorders, improving autonomic functions, relieving symptoms of asthma, and reducing signs of oxidative stress. Practitioners report that the practice of pranayama develops a steady mind, strong will-power, and sound judgement, and also claim that sustained pranayama practice extends life and enhances perception.” – Wikipedia

The ultimate aim of pranayama is to focus the mind, leading towards personal reintegration. When you practice pranayama, you are deliberately changing your normal breathing patterns. The change in breathing patterns changes your state of mind and reduces the mental disturbances. As a result, your thoughts become clearer and your understanding of yourself is enhanced. As your mind becomes more fully absorbed in the observation of the breathing process, the character of the breath tends to change involuntarily. In other words, your breath changes simply by you becoming aware of it.

Some of the benefits of pranayama include:

• Better focus and concentration
• Increased lung capacity
• Better emotional control
• Stress reduction
• Reducing insomnia

If you’ve never done any breathing exercises before, here is an easy way to start:

1. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Sitting is recommended so that you don’t fall asleep.
2. Become conscious of your breath. Don’t try and regulate it. Simply remain aware of the quality of the breath – the inhale, exhale, and the pauses between the two. Don’t try and change anything… merely focus on the present nature of your breath.
3. After several minutes, start breathing in and out through your nose. Breathe into the stomach and then out from the stomach. Try to make the exhalations longer than the inhalations.
4. Now try inhaling first into the chest and then into the lower stomach. Then exhale and fully remove the air first from your stomach and then from you chest. Remove all the air that can comfortably be expelled from the lungs before inhaling again.

A fun visual component to add to the exercise is to imagine all of your unwanted emotions being pushed through a fire in your belly. The breath helps to push the unwanted emotions through the fire and expel the residue.

“According to the yoga texts, ‘fire’ (agni) exists inside our bodies near the navel. The impurities settle below that, in the abdominal area called apana. This fire burns impurities, and our breath affects the quality of the flame. Furthermore, breath regulates the flow of impurities toward the fire for burning, and away from it in order to leave the body.” – A.G. Mohan, Yoga for Body, Breath, and Mind – A Guide to Personal Reintegration

Like anything, when we practice something consciously, the body begins to memorize the activity and we integrate it into our unconscious selves. Try sitting up straighter, or walking taller and see how that affects the state of your breath, your mind, and consequently, your life.

Have any of you experimented with breath/breathing techniques?  What have you experienced (positive or negative)?

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” – Buddhist Proverb

Shine on!
*~Lighthouse~*

Tags: Lighthouse, anxiety, breathing, relationship with self, rituals, self care, well-being by Lighthouse
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