Refilling the emotional drain
“When one is in this type of flux that you are in now, there is nothing else. No passion, no energy, nothing. When you come through the other side, you will see/ feel the difference. Living is different because there isn’t the internal struggle, there isn’t the fear in the heart. When you are congruent within, your time is not spent soothing yourself, or trying to figure things out. It is spent loving and giving.” – Emi Joy
PaulCreature and I recently broke up… and the experience of processing everything that has happened and figuring out what I want to do to move forward has left me emotionally drained. My energy levels are very low. My body feels heavy, tired, and run down. My mind is muddled and blank. I’m not quite sure what direction to go in….
I think most of us have felt emotionally drained at one time or another. Life is busy and full of challenges… sometimes it’s easy to face them, and sometimes they take their toll.
So what to do when we are emotionally drained?
PRACTICE GOOD SELF CARE
It always comes back to that doesn’t it?
EXERCISE
Yes… I know it seems impossible. It’s the last thing you want to do, but it really is the best thing you can do for yourself. Not only do the endorphin levels go up, but it leaves your body feeling really, really good. You can read about the emotional benefits of exercise here.
REST
Get plenty of sleep. Ironically, when we are emotionally drained, we sometimes have a hard time sleeping. If you can’t sleep, try an over-the-counter sleep aid. If that doesn’t work, consult your doctor. You can read about the effects of sleep deprivation here.
OBSERVE
Observe your feelings. Take note: How does your body feel? What parts of you are affected when you are emotionally drained? How are the emotions affecting your physical self?
BREATHE
Focus on taking deep breaths. Stand or sit up straight and just breathe deeply… you can do this anywhere.
TREAT YOURSELF
Take yourself out for a massage, or to a play, or just go somewhere new and walk around… Break out of your routine and do something you don’t normally do.
REACH OUT TO FRIENDS
It’s ok to ask for help or company or just to have someone listen to you. If you don’t have many close friends, consider getting involved in a book-club, a meetup, a sports group, knitting group… whatever your interests are – there is a group out there.
SPEND TIME ALONE
Yes, I know I just said to reach out to friends, but spending time alone (with the cell phone off) can also give you the down time you need.
SET SMALL GOALS
Is there a sewing project you’ve been wanting to finish? A closet you’ve been wanting to clean out? A letter you’ve been meaning to write? Make a list of things you’ve been wanting to accomplish…. and then start doing these things. You don’t have to do a lot… but it’s good to keep yourself occupied with productive things while your mind is processing.
FOCUS ON THE NEXT STEP
Don’t think too far in advance. What can do right now to make your life better? Yes, I know you don’t feel like doing anything… but do it anyways, even if it’s just cleaning the bathtub (so you can take a nice, hot bath!).
MAKE YOUR ENVIRONMENT BEAUTIFUL
Clear out the clutter, clean things up, throw things out, light candles, paint the walls, hang new art, buy plants… Surround yourself with as much beauty as you can.
TRAVEL
If you have the means, go somewhere new… Often, getting out of our environments and dropping ourselves into something completely new can be exhilarating, fun, and restful.
DON’T PLAN TOO MANY THINGS
Make sure you make enough time for yourself. Don’t make so many plans that you wear yourself out. Slow your life down. Simplify things.
“One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.” – Andre’ Gide
*~Lighthouse~*
I had no idea you and Paul broke up. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through that grieving process. I’d tell you to take good care of yourself, but it looks like you have that well in hand.
Obviously I didn’t know either.
Things like this can really be tough. Wishing you the best through all this.
emotionally drained is a good sign. it’s a sign one allows themselves to feel emotions, isn’t it? (as opposed to emotionally numb)
i always remember the seasons and our menstrual cycles (a la christiane northrup) – most of us fluctuate between inward/outward focus, inspiration/reflection.
this is what makes marriage so appealing – the supposition that one never has to go through the pain/challenge of “breaking up.” is one way better than the other?